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1. Alignment Survey
Major Carter was on his third Rip It and still spiritually misaligned. The PowerPoint in front of him asked which quadrant best reflected his daily energy: consciousness, creativity, or connection. He chose “whatever gets me out of this sooner” and clicked submit. He got flagged for “spiritual misfire.” No indication of caliber.
The chaplain entered the TOC like a ghost who’d learned how to smile from a real-estate podcast. He grinned like he’d just closed escrow on your last shred of hope.
“Major, I noticed your Spiritual Fitness score dipped again. Want to grab ten minutes to reflect on your Source of Strength?”
Carter blinked. “I was hoping to meditate on PowerPoint’s death, sir. Ideally in a mass-casualty event, slides everywhere, no survivors but a single animated transition.”
The chaplain chuckled, uninvited. “You know, Purpose leads. Strength follows.”
“Yeah, well, I’m running low on both. I’d settle for a court-martial with decent lighting.”
The chaplain handed him a laminated handout titled Spiritual Growth for the Professionally Exhausted. It featured a pyramid made of soft gradients, with words like identity, meaning, and resilience stacked on top of a base labeled soul maintenance.
Figure 1. Spiritual Operations Wheel - rotate until your aura clicks.
“Please complete your Reflection Wheel before COB.”
Carter stared at it. “This is a pizza.”
“It’s your inner pizza,” the chaplain said. “Don’t neglect your toppings.”
2. Phantom Forge
They sent him to Fort Cavazos’s Phantom Forge, a name that sounded less like a training center and more like a place you'd be baptized into a cult made of Etsy incense vendors and former JROTC instructors.
Phantom Forge was created by someone who had once skimmed The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People while crying in a Hobby Lobby parking lot. It was run by the Chaplain Corps and held in what looked like a decommissioned Family Life Center that had been partially gentrified. Beanbags, Edison bulbs, and banners reading Be All You Can Be, Spiritually hung crookedly on the walls.
Each session opened with “Combat Breathwork.” Soldiers practiced something branded “Battlefield Box Breathing.” Inhale four, hold four, exhale four, then spend the last four seconds regretting every PowerPoint they’ve ever made.
“Welcome, warrior of consciousness,” said a 56M with a clipboard. “We’re just about to begin gratitude journaling.”
Carter nodded like a man accepting the inevitable. They began with a guided mantra, mumbled like a seance for dead command-climate surveys.
On the wall, a projection looped soft-spoken affirmations: “Your energy is your edge.” “Confidence is a soul multiplier.” “The enemy can’t take your inner flame.”
Someone rang a brass bell when a Soldier “advanced a stage.” No one knew how the stages were determined, but the bell was loud and annoying, and thus it felt appropriately military.
By the end of the day, Carter’s journal included several pages of nonsense just to meet the “free-writing” quota. One entry read: “My spirit camel refuses to kneel at the watering hole of accountability.”
Figure 2. Core Values Rock Chart - stack carefully; avalanche risk high.
3. Stagecraft
The Forge emphasized the “Four Stages of Spiritual Development.” A laminated card broke it down:
- Stage I: To Me - basic training, but make it existential.
- Stage II: By Me - when you memorize just enough doctrine to ruin everyone’s day.
- Stage III: Through Me - the zone where you’ve stopped caring but somehow start mentoring.
- Stage IV: As Me - enlightened, burned out, and on short orders for ILE.
Each stage had recommended activities. Journaling. Guided forest bathing. Combat tai chi. Shadow-boxing with your inner critic.
On day three, Carter was told he had plateaued at Stage II.
“Your growth is stagnating,” said the chaplain.
“I have a soul rash. Spiritual hygiene’s been spotty since deployment.”
He was assigned a spiritual-accountability partner. They exchanged daily texts like “Did you hydrate and align your intent today?”
One evening, they all painted river stones with their “core values.” Carter’s rock read “Subtle Contempt.”
Figure 3. Stages of Alignment Pyramid - ascend at own risk.
4. Identity Maintenance
The Forge hosted an evening seminar titled Operational Identity in Multidomain Consciousness. Carter attended out of masochism. The presenter was a civilian contractor wearing a scarf and a CAC. Her PowerPoint had a Venn diagram that included Who I Am, Who the Army Says I Am, and Who My Inner Flame Wants to Be.
“Your identity is a campaign plan,” she said. “But you have to be your own terrain analyst.”
Carter scribbled “Request CAS on self” in his notebook.
In breakout groups, they were told to identify their Spiritual Archetype using a QR-coded quiz. Carter was tagged as The Disillusioned Shepherd. His table partner got Fire Llama. Another Soldier got Enlightened Warrant, which no one could argue with.
During the break, they were encouraged to fill out their Vision Board of Alignment, which included sections for “deployment dreams,” “core soul logistics,” and “emotional METL.”
In a corner of the room, a junior officer stared blankly at a corkboard labeled “Spiritual Go/No-Go.”
5. FM 6-66 : Applied Mysticism
Carter snapped on day five. He opened a blank Word document titled FM 6-66 : Applied Mysticism for the Multidomain Warfighter. The introduction read:
This manual provides guidance on the application of mystical practices for the spiritually agile warfighter operating in doctrinally ambiguous terrain. Soldiers are expected to manifest resilience through chakric synchronization and phase-aligned vibration drills.
Annexes included:
- Rune-Based Leadership Assessments
- Witchcraft as an Ethical Dilemma for Platoon Leaders
- Tarot Card METT-TC Analysis
- Energy Aura Camouflage Techniques
- Conjuring the Command Climate
- Spiritual Center-of-Gravity Analysis Matrix (S-COGAM)
- Ouija Board Terrain Denial Procedures
He distributed it to the S-6 distro list, labeled as a “pre-approved insert.” Nobody blinked. Someone added it to the share drive as “OPORD Annex Zulu.”
Figure 4. S-COGAM Matrix - because every soul needs a COA comparison chart.
6. Career Ascension
Within three weeks, FM 6-66 had been cited in a division white paper on “Transdimensional Leadership.” A brigade chaplain began offering guided meditations based on it. A TikTok NCO recorded a seven-part explainer.
Carter was awarded an impact MSM for “doctrinal innovation.” He accepted it wearing his tan belt and a smirk.
His rater told him, “This is exactly what the Army needs. Spiritual fluidity with a combat mindset.”
He was selected for LTC on the primary list.
An email from the Center for Army Lessons Learned requested his “alignment metrics.” Carter replied with an .mp3 of wind chimes.
Doctrine writers started using the phrase “Resilience Through Non-Physical Maneuver.” Carter’s FM was referenced in a War College monograph.
By that point, he had stopped updating the document. He was working on FM 6-67 : Manifestation Doctrine in Large-Scale Combat Ops.
7. Epilogue : Soul Forge Echoes
Carter eventually left active duty and took a GS-13 job running mindfulness evaluations for TRADOC. On his wall hung a framed certificate that read: Stage IV Achieved : As Me.
One day, he visited a coffee shop outside Fort Drum. A young captain sat at a corner table, reading a dog-eared pamphlet titled The Manual of Phantom Bullshit.
“Can you believe this was real?” the captain asked.
Carter smiled. “It still is.”
They stared at the poster above the espresso bar: Mandatory Soul Alignment – Tuesdays at 1500. Beneath it, a QR code.
A bell rang in the distance. Someone had reached Stage III.
End.